An Infinite Task

I’m working harder than ever before, and this website doesn’t show it. The concepts I’m delving into are so intense, I wonder if I can blog about them. Here’s an excerpt: You prepared a table before me in the presence of my enemies. Then we broke bread together, and they washed my feet and asked… Read More »

Terra’s Temple

She mounts the steps to her temple, minding carefully the cracks in the ancient stone. Centuries ago the pillars crumbled and the roof fell. Now her stride is uneven, but she still walks with the pride of a goddess. The language is lost, her pride would never have connoted a hint of hubris. It once… Read More »

Triggers Are Not Permanent.

Lots of people give trigger warnings, and lots of other people think we’re coddling oversensitive people. Here’s something I haven’t seen much in the online discussion on trigger warnings: triggers are not permanent. Recovering from trauma is a process. It is the decision to sort out what has been experienced. The metaphors of wounds and… Read More »

Birthday Post 4: Being 23 and a Half

This summer, I didn’t write on my 23rd birthday. I was working in the wilderness and a friend and coworker insisted that I take as much of a break as possible. I slept under the Colorado stars and read sections of a high fantasy novel, and the camp coordinators slipped some candy into our provisions… Read More »

The God Question

I read a sentence a few years ago that changed my life. It was in Barbara Ehrenreich’s book Living with a Wild God, and it said, “When people run up against something inexplicable, transcendent, and, most of all, ineffable, they often call it ‘God,’ as if that were some sort of explanation.” That sung true… Read More »

Gardening

I need a word for something between nostalgia and getting triggered. For me, triggers can be debilitating. They get me swept up in some memory, some belief about myself, that makes me feel disempowered and afraid. Nostalgia is strange these days, because I have many happy memories of my family, but the complexity of my… Read More »

Best of 2015

This summer, I almost totally disconnected from the Internet, and had very limited phone service. Then I moved to another part of the country. I stopped writing blog posts in June, and the last of my queued posts ran out in August. 2015 was fantastic, and I’m ready to come back and share what I’ve… Read More »

When Parents Idealize Themselves

“I don’t think they mean to be abusive, though.” I hear those words at least once a week. People come to me with their stories, and I point out patterns of abuse, and they rush to the defense of the loved one. It could be an ex, a current partner or spouse. Parents. Siblings. Managers,… Read More »

When Story Isn’t Enough

(I write about my experiences, but for professional reasons I’m leaving out anything that will identify the camp I worked at this summer. I just want to make that clear.) “Are those lightning burns?” I murmured to the counselor next to me, out of earshot of the campers. I’ve been close to many of Colorado’s… Read More »