Birthday Post 4: Being 23 and a Half

This summer, I didn’t write on my 23rd birthday. I was working in the wilderness and a friend and coworker insisted that I take as much of a break as possible. I slept under the Colorado stars and read sections of a high fantasy novel, and the camp coordinators slipped some candy into our provisions… Read More »

The God Question

I read a sentence a few years ago that changed my life. It was in Barbara Ehrenreich’s book Living with a Wild God, and it said, “When people run up against something inexplicable, transcendent, and, most of all, ineffable, they often call it ‘God,’ as if that were some sort of explanation.” That sung true… Read More »

Gardening

I need a word for something between nostalgia and getting triggered. For me, triggers can be debilitating. They get me swept up in some memory, some belief about myself, that makes me feel disempowered and afraid. Nostalgia is strange these days, because I have many happy memories of my family, but the complexity of my… Read More »

Best of 2015

This summer, I almost totally disconnected from the Internet, and had very limited phone service. Then I moved to another part of the country. I stopped writing blog posts in June, and the last of my queued posts ran out in August. 2015 was fantastic, and I’m ready to come back and share what I’ve… Read More »

When Parents Idealize Themselves

“I don’t think they mean to be abusive, though.” I hear those words at least once a week. People come to me with their stories, and I point out patterns of abuse, and they rush to the defense of the loved one. It could be an ex, a current partner or spouse. Parents. Siblings. Managers,… Read More »

When Story Isn’t Enough

(I write about my experiences, but for professional reasons I’m leaving out anything that will identify the camp I worked at this summer. I just want to make that clear.) “Are those lightning burns?” I murmured to the counselor next to me, out of earshot of the campers. I’ve been close to many of Colorado’s… Read More »

The City of Angels

Trigger warnings: torture, circumcision, child sacrifice It was set up to isolate us. I was supposed to think I was the only one who had struggles and questions. They punished us and humiliated us one at a time. If anyone managed to make us feel like we weren’t alone in our accidental rebellion, our inability… Read More »

The Legend of the Snow Fairies

I don’t think I’ve ever posted any of my short stories here on my blog. I wrote this whole thing between classes one snowy day in October 2013. This Belongs to the Echelon. —- Yes, child. Of course it’s alright to love winter. The snow fairies love it, too. The story you heard today was… Read More »