How I Got Burned Out On Current Events and Politics by Age 19

Trigger warnings: current events and politics “By voting, you are complying. You are complying to a preexisting system. I think we need real significant change, and that real change won’t come if enough people are complying. While you see voting as expressing yourself, I see it as compliance with the system.” -Russell Brand, who explains… Read More »

Support ‘Growing Up Jeub’ – The Book

Some of you may have already noticed the little Patreon icon I placed on the right-hand sidebar a few weeks ago. Several people have pledged to donate to my writing every month. I want to be able to justify spending a lot of time writing on the blog, making YouTube videos, and writing my book,… Read More »

Drinking From the Final Straw

Trigger warnings: alcohol abuse, child abuse, graphic descriptions “We were addicted to the blueprint But we threw it in the flames and now we’re never gonna trace it You, you lied Ha ha ha ha I was right all along Good job, good job You fucked it up… Now you’re walking on your own Rain falls… Read More »

The Struggle of Having an Addictive Personality

Trigger warnings: self-harm, addiction My parents abused alcohol. So did their parents, and theirs. I don’t know how far back it goes. What I know is that the whole family is infected with an addiction problem. I have cousins I haven’t seen in decades, addicted to street drugs, living on the streets those drugs are named… Read More »

Why I’m Not Sure I Want Kids Anymore

“I don’t want to become like my father,” my friend said, echoing what so many of my friends have said. He’d beaten her as a child. He was unpredictable and sadistic, like my own dad. We see our parents in ourselves, and it makes us afraid. I want to break the cycle of abuse, but… Read More »

Alecia Pennington, Identity Abuse, and Me

When I first saw Alecia Pennington’s video about how she can’t prove her American citizenship, nothing about it took me by surprise. I have friends who, like her, don’t exist according to the government. They have no birth certificates, no social security number, no passport. If their parents also distrusted modern medicine, like mine, there… Read More »

Being a Perfect Victim

Yesterday, my brother Micah posted on my Facebook timeline. He didn’t address me directly – he was telling people not to believe the stories I was “making up” about my family. It took me by surprise a bit, but it didn’t bother me too much. I sent my brother, who is 17, a message to… Read More »

Confidence Without Faking It

“People ask me all the time why I’m so confident,” two of my favorite YouTubers said in their videos about confidence. “It may sound common, but it’s true that you can fake it until you make it.” I stop watching, because something in me aches. I know how to fake confidence, and it works great… Read More »

Loyalty is Overrated.

“People always leave me, so I’m not worth being loved.” They say it in a moment of honesty, after we’ve been talking for a while. It’s always a one-on-one conversation. I interrogate people, and I’ve heard more people tell me this than I can remember. My instinctive response to “Everyone leaves,” is to say, “Well,… Read More »