أَنِ اغْدُوا عَلَىٰ حَرْثِكُمْ إِن كُنتُمْ صَارِمِينَ “Go early and rush to your orchards and crops if you wish to gather all their harvest and plentiful fruits.” -al-Qalam 68:22 “She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it […]
Category: Growing Up Jeub
The Archive Restoration Project
As many of you know, my blog was lost in late 2016. I had written over 500 posts since 2012, sometimes every day. I was homeless, and it was time to renew my web host. I was able to keep my domain name – thank the old gods and the new, I can only imagine […]
When Parents Idealize Themselves
This is a repost from my restored archives. It was re-uploaded June 16, 2018. “I don’t think they mean to be abusive, though.” I hear those words at least once a week. People come to me with their stories, and I point out patterns of abuse, and they rush to the defense of the loved […]
Little Soldiers’ Little Shoulders
This article was re-uploaded in 2018. It is part of the archive restoration project. One of the most important articles I read this year was “When Shame Feels Mothering: The Tragedy of Parentified Daughters.” In it, the author explains how role-switching works with girls who have needy mothers. If a mother needs an emotional outlet, […]
Telling the Quiverfull Story – An Interview with Jennifer Mathieu
This is a repost from the archives. My updated thoughts on the subject as of 2018 can be found here. When I was a teenager living in my parents’ house, I held myself to the highest possible standards, and consistently fell short. I didn’t like the music I was supposed to like. I was constantly […]
Painting One-Dimensional Abusers
“I’m sorry, momma! I never meant to hurt you! I never meant to make you cry; But tonight, I’m cleaning out my closet.” -Eminem Last summer, I had a dream about my mother. In the dream, I was in my first consensual, trusting sexual relationship. My mom walked in on us and started screaming. “How […]
Children are people…and people are children
This is a re-upload from the lost archives. “That was childish.” My friend said. “Not very smart, perhaps,” I replied. “But childish? To call something childish – implying inexperience, stupidity, or lack of self-control – is an insult to children. It wasn’t all that uncommon, a mere century ago, to say ‘womanish’ in the same […]
To the Imperfect Ones
“I thought the reason I wasn’t happy, why I didn’t fit in, was because there was something wrong with me. I wasn’t doing it right, I wasn’t trying hard enough.” I’ve heard it from so many people. They looked like rebels and misfits at the time. This one’s for you, rebels and misfits. The people […]
Grieving the Mask
This post was originally uploaded on March 3, 2015. It is part of the restored archives. I wait for the opportunity to get away, and I step out into the moonlight. The metal gate is covered in frost, and it stings my hands as I climb over it, firmly planting my feet so I don’t […]
Drinking from the Final Straw
Trigger warnings: alcohol abuse, child abuse, graphic descriptions “We were addicted to the blueprint But we threw it in the flames and now we’re never gonna trace it You, you lied Ha ha ha ha I was right all along Good job, good job You fucked it up… Now you’re walking on your own Rain falls […]