“A dancing puppet doll made of wood I bet he’d run away one day if he could choose to leave or stay He’s got a string attached to every bone She’s got him round her little finger so she’ll never feel alone…” –Aurora, Puppet I was originally going to write today about nutritional abuse and […]
Category: Personal reflections
The Search for Solutions
“Shitty weather, bad timing Lucky penny glued to the ground Dirty look from total stranger Hope you get lost and you’re not found Take a look at what we’ve become Nothing more than silhouettes of A pretty family on a postcard Picture perfect, I don’t want it So I hold my breath ’til my heart […]
Birthday Post 5 (Or, Finally, An Actual Update)
So much to do, so little time. So much to emotionally process, as the hours of depression bore infinitely empty holes in the walls as the hours trickle by. So our lives inch by, sometimes with days feeling like weeks where you need seven naps. That’s the feeling I had when I looked back into […]
Me, irl
I wake up and walk to a quiet oasis, sit down, load a bowl, and light a cigarette. This is my morning routine, it is the only medicine that calms my anxiety enough to work, and calms my stomach enough to eat. I’ll be putting in a few hours of work from my laptop after […]
Terra’s Temple
She mounts the steps to her temple, minding carefully the cracks in the ancient stone. Centuries ago the pillars crumbled and the roof fell. Now her stride is uneven, but she still walks with the pride of a goddess. The language is lost, her pride would never have connoted a hint of hubris. It once […]
7-Year Cycles and Time Perception
Re-uploaded 7/22/2018 as part of the Archive Restoration Project. This past weekend, my partner and I met with a Crone (pagan term of respect for wise women who’ve moved beyond the Maiden and Mother phases of the Goddess self) who was uninterested in being respected for her age. She told us that every seven years […]
Birthday Post 4: Being 23 and a Half
This summer, I didn’t write on my 23rd birthday. I was working in the wilderness and a friend and coworker insisted that I take as much of a break as possible. I slept under the Colorado stars and read sections of a high fantasy novel, and the camp coordinators slipped some candy into our provisions […]
Bare Feet on Broken Ground
Archive restoration note: in this post I referred to God as “Infinite One,” but I no longer believe in a higher power or intelligent design. -Cynthia, July 2018 Today when I stepped outside, I felt the words, “Take off your shoes and make this ground holy.” I grinned and thought, “It’s been so long, Infinite […]
How I Got Burned Out On Current Events and Politics by Age 19
Trigger warnings: current events and politics “By voting, you are complying. You are complying to a preexisting system. I think we need real significant change, and that real change won’t come if enough people are complying. While you see voting as expressing yourself, I see it as compliance with the system.” -Russell Brand, who explains not […]
Thoughts on Being an Adult with Imaginary Friends (The Gilbert Post)
I wasn’t the type of kid who liked dolls or toys. I wanted everything to be as real as possible. Play-food annoyed me, because it looked tempting, but I couldn’t eat it. I spent time in the real kitchen at an early age because I wanted to experience what I was making. If I read […]