Every night, I get up at least twice in the night to bring meals to my partner. He is too disabled now to get his own food from the kitchen. We have a flight of carpeted stairs separating our bedroom from the kitchen and going down them gives him chest pain and a rapid heart […]
Category: Personal reflections
(Almost) Hopeless
Content Warning: This article discusses police brutality, internet censorship, and near-term human extinction. Not sure where to begin after a day like yesterday. The onslaught of news was overwhelming. Later in the day, it became apparent to me at last that our internet is being censored. The omissions were eerie. For a little while, the […]
I’m not saying religion sucks, but it hurt me, okay
Disclaimer: this is not an attack on religion or religious people for being religious. It’s just my thoughts about MY former faith and how I interpreted it then and now. Seven billion lives to punishThis race will pay for their avariceThe odious destroyersLeading our lives towards exileThe fickle breed will purge themselves…Seven billion people will […]
Writing Doubts
Writing is a real fight. I’ve been at it for nearly five hours, and I’m starting again with nothing. The blog as a medium is one that I was introduced to through my dad, who wanted to put every details of our family’s life onto his blog for many years of my childhood. When I […]
Everything (Sucks)
How do I sit still while the planet is dying?The bees are deadThe big boss is up in his towerMy face is redYelling, but there’s soundproof glass around himHe’s counting all the mountains of money around himHow would you feel if you got cheated out ofGrowing up?You’re born into a dying world,Its time is upThis […]
The Logistics of Staying Housed
Every month, I get one paycheck for my creative work through Patreon. I write 6 or 7 days a week, usually about 500-2,000 words per day. This has been my habit for over a decade. I have written several books, none of which I found worth pitching to agents or publishers, merely the practice of […]
Birthday Post 6
It feels incredibly selfish of me to break the silence on my birthday. It just seems like a neutral time to talk about myself, I guess. There’s so much that deserves attention. I am overwhelmed by how much there is to write. Specific essays form lengthy outlines across dozens of documents that I don’t have […]
Identity Beyond Memoir
It’s already June, and I feel like I’m still recovering from March. Countless more important things are going on than my personal family drama, so instead of writing about it, I want to write about what it’s been like to go beyond it and establish a personal identity. It has not been easy, and I’ve […]
Art Worth Making
“Don’t use your memoir to air old grievances and to settle old scores; get rid of that anger somewhere else. The memoirs that we do remember from the 1990s are the ones that were written with love and forgiveness…although the childhoods they describe were painful, the writers are as hard on their younger selves as […]
Living with Existential Depression
People have been asking how I’m doing, and I answer that it’s all the same as it was months ago. I’m still fighting the monster of depression, I’m still trying to find meds that work for me, I’m still struggling to find my way back to my art. There’s not much to report when it […]