“Trapped in a cold white room I want to know, who’ll be there when you snuff the wick? I won’t reflect the same as you I want the proof you’ll promise to let ’em down quick. I never want to see clear at all There’s nothing that could be there now Pull out your teeth […]
Category: Personal reflections
When God Spoke to Me
“Descartes invoked God – in this case, a literal deus ex machina – to save himself…When people run up against something inexplicable, transcendent, and, most of all, ineffable, they often call it ‘God,’ as if that were some sort of explanation.” –Barbara Ehrenreich “If you withhold information from your children because you would rather them […]
Cultivating Intelligent Disobedience
“Loyal dogs, unfailing tool They do what they have been trained to With the eidolons, the minds are full The evil ghosts of old The evil ghosts of old Insanity turns back at last As soon as their food is done And dog will raven dog The claws crush bones, the claws crush bones Claws […]
Surrendering to Science
My faith in God was not lost in a day. It took many years of questioning, and it all started with competitive Apologetics speaking when I was a teenager. Later my journey included many friends made and lost who helped me learn about science, or who gave me the same redundant reasons to remain a […]
Swivel
I want to unite once again with poetry But I no longer cope Concocting false hope Projecting upon a limitless background The audacious human tendency To call his own perception, true reality When we exist as a near-infinite improbability I knew this, at once, when I was born. I knew I had been here […]
What Happened
Content warnings: gaslighting, child abuse, mental illness, suicide, eating disorders, poverty Now is as good a time as any to explain why exactly my blog was so choppy over the past four years. I don’t trust people like I used to. I don’t believe the world is full of sunshine and roses, like my parents […]
Depression Meals and Food Recovery
Content warning: eating disorders, food trauma, depression The subject of nutritional abuse is one that I’ve found difficult to talk about for a long time. I keep thinking that it’s because I’m no nutritionist, and I’m not really qualified, but this fear masks avoidance. The thing is, I don’t always know when I’m hungry, because […]
Cheaper by the Proxy: Why the Majority of Abuse Victims Don’t Escape
“A dancing puppet doll made of wood I bet he’d run away one day if he could choose to leave or stay He’s got a string attached to every bone She’s got him round her little finger so she’ll never feel alone…” –Aurora, Puppet I was originally going to write today about nutritional abuse and […]
The Search for Solutions
“Shitty weather, bad timing Lucky penny glued to the ground Dirty look from total stranger Hope you get lost and you’re not found Take a look at what we’ve become Nothing more than silhouettes of A pretty family on a postcard Picture perfect, I don’t want it So I hold my breath ’til my heart […]
Birthday Post 5 (Or, Finally, An Actual Update)
So much to do, so little time. So much to emotionally process, as the hours of depression bore infinitely empty holes in the walls as the hours trickle by. So our lives inch by, sometimes with days feeling like weeks where you need seven naps. That’s the feeling I had when I looked back into […]