Content warning: eating disorders, food trauma, depression The subject of nutritional abuse is one that I’ve found difficult to talk about for a long time. I keep thinking that it’s because I’m no nutritionist, and I’m not really qualified, but this fear masks avoidance. The thing is, I don’t always know when I’m hungry, because […]
Category: Psychology and mental illness
Podcast Transcript: The Deleted Confession
Updated 5/6/2019: Below is a commentary I wrote in August 2018 about the events leading up to my family’s first response to my blog posts in 2014, a podcast. My parents claim that they never gave any kind of response until March of 2019. The podcast was re-uploaded to YouTube, which my dad had taken […]
Cheaper by the Proxy: Why the Majority of Abuse Victims Don’t Escape
“A dancing puppet doll made of wood I bet he’d run away one day if he could choose to leave or stay He’s got a string attached to every bone She’s got him round her little finger so she’ll never feel alone…” –Aurora, Puppet I was originally going to write today about nutritional abuse and […]
The Search for Solutions
“Shitty weather, bad timing Lucky penny glued to the ground Dirty look from total stranger Hope you get lost and you’re not found Take a look at what we’ve become Nothing more than silhouettes of A pretty family on a postcard Picture perfect, I don’t want it So I hold my breath ’til my heart […]
The Diversity of Human Thought: A Project
My wonderful man is fascinated with psychology, and often collects books on the nature of the human mind, along with neurology. Recently he put a project together called “The Diversity of Human Thought,” in which he sends people the same set of questions to demonstrate how different people see the same scenarios. They range from […]
Arguing with the Void
Is science another religion, or does studying it benefit humanity? The more we learn, the less we know, and that massiveness of not-knowledge is the void. Physically, spiritually, consciously. That which we do not know, cannot observe, cannot comprehend, is outgrowing God so fast that he’s just ordinary beans compared to Jack’s cloud-reaching plant. And […]
When Parents Idealize Themselves
This is a repost from my restored archives. It was re-uploaded June 16, 2018. “I don’t think they mean to be abusive, though.” I hear those words at least once a week. People come to me with their stories, and I point out patterns of abuse, and they rush to the defense of the loved […]
Little Soldiers’ Little Shoulders
This article was re-uploaded in 2018. It is part of the archive restoration project. One of the most important articles I read this year was “When Shame Feels Mothering: The Tragedy of Parentified Daughters.” In it, the author explains how role-switching works with girls who have needy mothers. If a mother needs an emotional outlet, […]
It Feels Like Creativity
This post was reuploaded in 2018 as part of the archive restoration project. One way to describe depression is that there’s a disconnect between the cognition and the emotions. I can tell myself not to feel so down, that I have no reason to be unmotivated and groggy, that there are things to do that […]
Painting One-Dimensional Abusers
“I’m sorry, momma! I never meant to hurt you! I never meant to make you cry; But tonight, I’m cleaning out my closet.” -Eminem Last summer, I had a dream about my mother. In the dream, I was in my first consensual, trusting sexual relationship. My mom walked in on us and started screaming. “How […]