I spent two hours today reviewing what I’d recorded of the things I did this year. Between Patreon, the blog, and paintings, I produced over 70 pieces. This astounds me because I was incredibly busy outside of my creative work. I’ve been trying all day to figure out how to…Continue Reading
Author: cynthiajeub
Close Clarity
I entered adulthood wholly uneducated and unprepared for life. I was homeschooled until I was 19. When I tried attending a local university while living with my parents, I had no time to study. I also had no respect for academia. In my mind, my own ignorant Christian beliefs were…Continue Reading
Obliviously Obvious
After Facebook went down last week, I’ve been exchanging numbers with a lot of you, and I’ve been amazed at how many of you are still reading this blog. I feel that I have a lot to explain. Like I said in my last post, a lot of these things…Continue Reading
Groomed
You take my handAnd you say you’ve changedBut boy you know your begging don’t fool meBecause to you it’s just a game(You know it’s just too little too late) I was youngAnd in loveI gave you everythingBut it wasn’t enoughAnd now you wanna communicate(You know it’s just too little too…Continue Reading
Heartlessness and Hate, Part 2
In Christian homeschool speech and debate, we were told that we were learning logic and critical thinking. What we learned was a kind of feigned intellectualism, one that behaves under the pretense that the most reasonable reaction to anything is no reaction at all. Almost without fail, the winning competitors…Continue Reading
Heartlessness and Hate, Part 1
Many people have asked me about speech and debate and whether it helped me with my communication and critical thinking skills. Now that a decade has passed, I can say with certainty that it did not. Years of frustration with speech and debate eventually led to some relative competitive success,…Continue Reading
Surviving and Prioritizing
It may not seem like it by how much I’ve made it a habit, but I hate asking for help. The society I live in frowns upon it severely. No matter how great the need, people in the US especially are dedicated to independence. It’s considered better to die with…Continue Reading
False Fame
The one episode of reality TV that featured my family was a much smaller thing than we thought. Shared delusions are central to relationships with abusers, and the chance to soak up the spotlight was no exception for my parents. The show itself was embarrassingly bad – the production quality…Continue Reading
Birthday Post 7
Birthdays, for me, are not a time of celebration, but a time to feel the weight of life’s length. I remember when years felt long, and now I feel so old as they shorten. I don’t know how much strength I have in me to double this time I’ve spent…Continue Reading
Standing Time
How long can you stand up? For most able-bodied people, the question usually comes up when evaluating work. People who can work on their feet are expected to stand for hours at a time. People who work sitting down may have the capacity to also go to the gym regularly.…Continue Reading