It’s been four years since I’ve updated my YouTube channel, and I’m curious to know who would be interested if I returned. I have a few ideas for videos, like talking about why I left religion, what it’s like to deal with depression and anxiety, etc. If I were to make videos again, what questions […]
Author: cynthiajeub
Prioritizing Recovery
It’s been over seven weeks since I last blogged, and every day I feel guilty for it. While I know that the perfect is the enemy of the good, I often visualize and imagine how excellent my writing would be, if only I could get my mind to clear. But my mind has not been […]
Winter Freeze
“When people are compulsively and constantly pulled back into the past, to the last time they felt intense involvement and deep emotions, they suffer from a failure of the imagination, a loss of the mental flexibility. Without imagination there is no hope, no chance to envision a better future, no place to go, no goal […]
The Devastation of Lost Faith
“I lay in a bed of resistance Chained to either side I really wish I could, reset, rewind Someone has clawed out my eyes I don’t know what they told you But this place is not what you think Living inside a hole, they put me underground Where they could never find me unless they […]
Only Human
“Enjoy the pain, it’s yours for a while, girl Don’t run away, your fear, you’re getting older We are relying on you and your emotion And as you go, promise of being bright – Where did you go, my dear, don’t slip away now It’s going slow, unclear, but you’re alive now Don’t be alone […]
Dear Anxiety
“Trapped in a cold white room I want to know, who’ll be there when you snuff the wick? I won’t reflect the same as you I want the proof you’ll promise to let ’em down quick. I never want to see clear at all There’s nothing that could be there now Pull out your teeth […]
When God Spoke to Me
“Descartes invoked God – in this case, a literal deus ex machina – to save himself…When people run up against something inexplicable, transcendent, and, most of all, ineffable, they often call it ‘God,’ as if that were some sort of explanation.” –Barbara Ehrenreich “If you withhold information from your children because you would rather them […]
Dissociative Martyr
Wrapped in chains Locked to a stake You only share a God Because of their power Your body The only symbol Wrists torn through Nail wounds to hang from You only share a God Because of their power Your body The only symbol Children stolen Children murdered Children tortured This is your God A god […]
Cultivating Intelligent Disobedience
“Loyal dogs, unfailing tool They do what they have been trained to With the eidolons, the minds are full The evil ghosts of old The evil ghosts of old Insanity turns back at last As soon as their food is done And dog will raven dog The claws crush bones, the claws crush bones Claws […]
Living with Injustice
It is not possible to discuss real solutions without talking about some difficult, painful things. Those things include genocide, slavery, oppression, exploitation, and labor camps. I was taught that America had done none of these things. Even slavery was not really something America did, it was the Confederacy, and the north won, so we were […]