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Cynthia "Artemis Stardust" Jeub

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Category: Personal reflections

Writing Doubts

  • Posted September 21, 2020
  • by cynthiajeub
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Writing is a real fight. I’ve been at it for nearly five hours, and I’m starting again with nothing. The blog as a medium is one that I was introduced to through my dad, who wanted to put every details of our family’s life onto his blog for many years…Continue Reading

Everything (Sucks)

  • Posted September 20, 2020September 20, 2020
  • by cynthiajeub
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How do I sit still while the planet is dying?The bees are deadThe big boss is up in his towerMy face is redYelling, but there’s soundproof glass around himHe’s counting all the mountains of money around himHow would you feel if you got cheated out ofGrowing up?You’re born into a…Continue Reading

The Logistics of Staying Housed

  • Posted August 11, 2020
  • by cynthiajeub
  • Leave a Comment on The Logistics of Staying Housed

Every month, I get one paycheck for my creative work through Patreon. I write 6 or 7 days a week, usually about 500-2,000 words per day. This has been my habit for over a decade. I have written several books, none of which I found worth pitching to agents or…Continue Reading

Birthday Post 6

  • Posted July 17, 2020July 17, 2020
  • by cynthiajeub
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It feels incredibly selfish of me to break the silence on my birthday. It just seems like a neutral time to talk about myself, I guess. There’s so much that deserves attention. I am overwhelmed by how much there is to write. Specific essays form lengthy outlines across dozens of…Continue Reading

Identity Beyond Memoir

  • Posted June 7, 2019June 7, 2019
  • by cynthiajeub
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It’s already June, and I feel like I’m still recovering from March. Countless more important things are going on than my personal family drama, so instead of writing about it, I want to write about what it’s been like to go beyond it and establish a personal identity. It has…Continue Reading

Art Worth Making

  • Posted May 9, 2019May 9, 2019
  • by cynthiajeub
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“Don’t use your memoir to air old grievances and to settle old scores; get rid of that anger somewhere else. The memoirs that we do remember from the 1990s are the ones that were written with love and forgiveness…although the childhoods they describe were painful, the writers are as hard…Continue Reading

Living with Existential Depression

  • Posted March 17, 2019March 17, 2019
  • by cynthiajeub
  • Leave a Comment on Living with Existential Depression

People have been asking how I’m doing, and I answer that it’s all the same as it was months ago. I’m still fighting the monster of depression, I’m still trying to find meds that work for me, I’m still struggling to find my way back to my art. There’s not…Continue Reading

Winter Freeze

  • Posted December 11, 2018
  • by cynthiajeub
  • 1 Comment on Winter Freeze

“When people are compulsively and constantly pulled back into the past, to the last time they felt intense involvement and deep emotions, they suffer from a failure of the imagination, a loss of the mental flexibility. Without imagination there is no hope, no chance to envision a better future, no…Continue Reading

The Devastation of Lost Faith

  • Posted November 30, 2018
  • by cynthiajeub
  • 1 Comment on The Devastation of Lost Faith

“I lay in a bed of resistance Chained to either side I really wish I could, reset, rewind Someone has clawed out my eyes I don’t know what they told you But this place is not what you think Living inside a hole, they put me underground Where they could…Continue Reading

Only Human

  • Posted November 13, 2018
  • by cynthiajeub
  • Leave a Comment on Only Human

“Enjoy the pain, it’s yours for a while, girl Don’t run away, your fear, you’re getting older We are relying on you and your emotion And as you go, promise of being bright – Where did you go, my dear, don’t slip away now It’s going slow, unclear, but you’re…Continue Reading

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