(s)Mother

Wrote this poem a few days ago. It’s very raw, but I was encouraged to share it with the world.

The emotions I’m feeling aren’t ones that I know any song for 
Compassion for my abuser
Understanding for the one who hurt me
Simultaneous anger and release from pain passed on
You used your pain as an excuse 
Your past as a motivation 
To pass on your responsibility 
To a child
I know you tried
You tried, you tried
To reverse the pattern of what you endured
Over-nurture, under-care
That was your smothering and exhausting way 
Because your childhood wound was neglect 
Mine was a whole mess of lies to deconstruct 
About myself and sex and life and divinity 
Because you wanted a girl in a box 
And didn’t think it odd to have her wait on you hand and foot 
Your own child, serving you like a queen 
How do you rationalize that? 
I feel
Compassion and empathy 
Because you had no protection when you were young 
But I also feel
Contempt 
Because neither did I 
And you should have known better