This is part of my restored archives. http://www.jeubfamily.com/2009/03/13/above-fulfillment https://web.archive.org/web/20150529063223/http://www.jeubfamily.com:80/2009/03/13/above-fulfillment When I started blogging, I wrote about being haunted by the words in a song (I still do that all the time). The song is called “More to Life” by Stacie Orrico. It goes like this: Here in this moment I’m halfway out the door On […]
Category: Psychology and mental illness
Compassion as a Prerequisite to Questioning
I used to really hate emotion. I didn’t think it was logical to trust your feelings. What do your emotions know? They’re just a distraction or an obstacle to doing the reasonable thing. As it turns out, intuition is ridiculously helpful. Our subconscious awareness is way ahead of our conscious awareness a lot of the […]
How I Got Burned Out On Current Events and Politics by Age 19
Trigger warnings: current events and politics “By voting, you are complying. You are complying to a preexisting system. I think we need real significant change, and that real change won’t come if enough people are complying. While you see voting as expressing yourself, I see it as compliance with the system.” -Russell Brand, who explains not […]
‘Stop Saying We’re Keeping Your Siblings from You.’
This is a repost, as I am in the process of restoring my lost archives. It was originally published January 7, 2015. Last week, my dad sent me an email. Like every email and message he sends, it contained a demand: he wants me to stop saying that my parents are keeping my siblings from […]
Identifying Manipulative Abuse Tactics
Trigger warning: homophobia, manipulation, abuse Manipulative abusers can be anyone, especially trusted people. This is a longer post than usual because I want to provide a comprehensive source for what a conversation with an abuser looks like. I have multiple examples of conversations like this one, but this argument is ideal because it took place […]
The Love Label
“Don’t give me love, don’t give me faith Wisdom nor pride, give innocence instead Don’t give me love, I’ve had my share Beauty nor rest, give me truth instead.” -Nightwish Imagine growing up in a house where the salt was labeled “sugar,” and the sugar was labeled “salt.” Then you make friends, and they talk about […]
How a Logical Girl Talked Herself into Fundamentalism, Part 3
This is the third and final part of a series. Click here to read from the beginning, or here to go to part 2. Trigger warning: child abuse “Icy roads beneath my feet, Lead me through wastelands of deceit, Rest your head now, don’t you cry, Don’t ever ask the reason why.” –Opeth When Tangled […]
How a Logical Girl Talked Herself into Fundamentalism, Part 1
“Do not look down Or the abysmal beast of non-conformity Might stare some unpleasant truth Into your desensitized mind.” -Meshuggah It was in April 2014 that I read an article on Homeschoolers Anonymous by Sarah Henderson entitled, “Oh daughters of fundamentalism, take upon yourselves the cloak of self-deception.” I read it, and for the first […]
The Breakthrough Moment
“How can I pretend that I don’t see What you hide so carelessly? …It’s not what it seems Not what you think No, I must be dreaming… Help, you know I’ve got to tell someone Tell them what I know you’ve done I fear you…” –Evanescence I have blogged very little about my family, even though […]
Thoughts on Being an Adult with Imaginary Friends (The Gilbert Post)
I wasn’t the type of kid who liked dolls or toys. I wanted everything to be as real as possible. Play-food annoyed me, because it looked tempting, but I couldn’t eat it. I spent time in the real kitchen at an early age because I wanted to experience what I was making. If I read […]