“So tiny dancer, beware – we’re medicated and scared This smile is so hard to wear So turn away from the ones who hurt everyone I can tell by your smile you’re coming undone And you’re fading with every day… There’s so much left in the air, So much to tell from your stare.” -Seether […]
Category: Growing Up Jeub
Born to Breed
CW: I describe unsanitary conditions for childbirth in this post…not sure if that’s a specific trigger for people, but thought it still deserved a warning. “Pull back the curtains Took a look into your eyes My tongue has now become A platform for your lies.” -Cage the Elephant My dad was playing his guitar, and […]
When a Child is Taught to Hate: My Version of the Alicia Story, Part 2
“That’s not despair you’re feeling, it’s the petulant reaction of a wounded child And that’s not the door I’m looking at, it’s an escape hatch to the zeppelin we’re inside… This ain’t an insult, it’s the clearest truth I’ve ever had the misery to speak These aren’t words, these are the terms of my surrender […]
When A Child is Taught to Hate: My Version of the Alicia Story, Part 1
“I’ve been trying to justify you In the end, I will just defy you.” –Dream Theater, ‘Honor Thy Father’ It started with fights, and I’d never heard my parents yelling. I would be in bed already. Alicia had missed her curfew again. Dad was yelling at her. I crawled out of bed and hid at […]
The Love Label
“Don’t give me love, don’t give me faith Wisdom nor pride, give innocence instead Don’t give me love, I’ve had my share Beauty nor rest, give me truth instead.” -Nightwish Imagine growing up in a house where the salt was labeled “sugar,” and the sugar was labeled “salt.” Then you make friends, and they talk about […]
How a Logical Girl Talked Herself into Fundamentalism, Part 3
This is the third and final part of a series. Click here to read from the beginning, or here to go to part 2. Trigger warning: child abuse “Icy roads beneath my feet, Lead me through wastelands of deceit, Rest your head now, don’t you cry, Don’t ever ask the reason why.” –Opeth When Tangled […]
How a Logical Girl Talked Herself into Fundamentalism, Part 2
Trigger warnings: child abuse “I could fight this, but I may die. And all I want is [to] be the apple in your eye Well I could stay here, strap on my face Listen to the words that put me in my place.” –Pendulum I was a curious child. I wanted to know how everything […]
How a Logical Girl Talked Herself into Fundamentalism, Part 1
“Do not look down Or the abysmal beast of non-conformity Might stare some unpleasant truth Into your desensitized mind.” -Meshuggah It was in April 2014 that I read an article on Homeschoolers Anonymous by Sarah Henderson entitled, “Oh daughters of fundamentalism, take upon yourselves the cloak of self-deception.” I read it, and for the first […]
Why Mom Never Told Us
Trigger warning: physical abuse, self-harm “We are thrown away in the house you made of every stolen moment. Don’t pretend, I know how this ends, and who you are in secret.” -Blue Stahli When I read Libby Anne’s article, “Then why didn’t you tell us that, mom?” it resonated with me. My parents had been doing […]
The Breakthrough Moment
“How can I pretend that I don’t see What you hide so carelessly? …It’s not what it seems Not what you think No, I must be dreaming… Help, you know I’ve got to tell someone Tell them what I know you’ve done I fear you…” –Evanescence I have blogged very little about my family, even though […]